Metro Douche – Take a look at this douche (#2)

27 Jun

So the morning commute on the DC Metro is a buffet of douchebaggery. On any given morning, I will be entertained by each of the following:

–          Excessive and graphic sneezing/coughing lady (typically the person I end up sitting next to, no less).

–          Businessman tool screaming on his cell phone about mission statements and product development so that everyone will know how important he is.

–          The tourist family of five analyzing each stop on the metro map, and giving a loud verbal update of the name of the current station to everyone at each stop. Just so we all know.

–          Sleeping dude (complete with hood of sweatshirt over face) typically in the back corner of the last car of the train, drooling just a little bit.

–          iPod kid with techno blasting at 7am so that all can share in the enjoyment (how this kid isn’t deaf at this point is beyond me).

–          The hardcore traveler with a five-piece luggage set, each bag fully spread out and falling all over the place, and oddly unaware of it.

While I have learned to not only grow accustomed to, but even find comic relief in this standard bunch of fellow commuters, there is one type of metro-riding douche that will never get a metro pass from me…

Metro Douche

I guess this douche thought his bags needed their independence, or his lap was very tired and couldn’t take the burden. Something tells me though that the random riders dispersed throughout the car with nowhere to sit for the cramped and muggy ride to work did not take sympathy.

Dude, my fellow travelers and I murdered you with our eyes over and over again while you slept. We all hope you slept through your intended stop and ended up in Maryland, douche.

End of rant 🙂

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